We really wish we could fully communicate with our animal friends so that we could make their lives easier. If only we could explain that sneezes aren't scary, that the ball didn't really disappear and that our friends should look both ways before crossing the road! Here are all the great things we'd tell our furry buddies:
"I saw a pigeon trying to eat a piece of bread today. Bless his crooked heart because he kept flipping it up in the air and giving other trash birds a chance at it. I felt so helpless. It would change this pigeon's life if he just used his foot to hold the bread down. Alas, he didn't understand that and lost the bread." --Reddit
See also: These Animal Jokes Will Have You Barking!
"Mr. Tortoise, you cannot eat the lettuce when you are lying on top of it. Move off then try again." --Reddit
See also: These 11 Stories About How Pets And Guardians Found Each Other Are Heartwarming!
"An open letter to all domestic animals: the vacuum cleaner is not trying to kill you." --Reddit
See also: These Stories Prove Dogs Are The Smartest Creatures On The Planet
"To my dog: I'll never forgive you for eating that sandwich and playing dumb when I came back and it was gone. I left the room for 20 seconds and you were nearly choking when I came back. After a giant heave and gulp, you look up at me like 'what?' You swallowed that entire sub in one bite and didn't even enjoy it, you jerk." --Reddit
"The squirrels near my house always use the power lines as a bridge to cross the street so they don't get hit by cars. One day, I saw a baby squirrel trying to run across the street and almost get hit. I yelled out loud, right at the bus stop, 'why aren't you using the bridge! You're going to get killed!'" --Reddit
See also: These Photos Of Adorable Animals Eating Berries Are Bloody Cute
"To my dog: I do not mean to kick you in the face as often as I do. I am tall and clumsy and generate locomotion primarily by directing what is a sustained and controlled fall. You are always, always at my heels. This will continue happening, and it breaks my heart that you have not learned it yet." --Reddit
"Dog: That gigantic noise in the sky? It's not another giant dog, it's thunder. Barking at it will not make it stop. Thank you." --Reddit
See also: 16 Of The Most Adorable Pets Up For Adoption In The Midwest