20 Hilariously Awful Jokes from Bad Pun Dog 20 Hilariously Awful Jokes from Bad Pun Dog
This Dog Is Pretty Much The Cutest Mechanic Ever This Dog Is Pretty Much The Cutest Mechanic Ever

Animal jokes are the best kinds of jokes. Check out all 12 of our favorites for some seriously funny, family-friendly animal puns!

Piggy Time
Piggy Time

A guy's driving down an old country road and he sees a farmer in his orchard feeding his pigs. But what he's doing is taking one pig at a time, holding him up, letting him eat an apple out of the tree, and then setting him down before doing the same with another pig. So the guy pulls over, walks up to the farmer and says, "Wouldn't it save time to just knock all the apples on the ground and let the pigs eat them all at once?" And the farmer, confused, looks at him and says, "What's time to a pig?" -- Doug Stanhope

A Very Smart Sheepdog
A Very Smart Sheepdog

A farmer is wondering how many sheep he has in his field, so he asks his sheepdog to count them. The dog runs into the field, counts them, and then runs back to his master.  "So," says the farmers. "How many sheep were there?" "40," replies the dog. "How can there be 40?" exclaims the farmer. "I only bought 38!" "I know," says the dog. "But I rounded them up." 

Cat Person
Cat Person

Sometimes when you learn the meaning of a term, it can be very disappointing. I remember when I was a kid. We were going to meet one of my mom’s friends, and she described him as a “cat person.” We got there, and I was like, wait, so you just like cats? Dude, that’s a cat-liker. A cat person’s a different story. Why does Steven never go in the pool? Oh, he’s a cat person. -- Demetri Martin

See aslo: These Stories Prove Dogs Are The Smartest Creatures On The Planet

 

A Paranoid Dog
A Paranoid Dog

I got a new dog. He's a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he's not sure what I threw him. -- Steven Wright

The Talking Parrot
The Talking Parrot

One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted the bird so he kept on bidding, and getting outbid. He bid higher and higher until finally he won the bird! As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the auctioneer, "I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can't talk!" "Don't worry," said the auctioneer. "He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?"  

Cat-Dog
Cat-Dog

I dressed my dog up as a cat for Halloween. Now he won’t come when I call him. -- Reid Faylor

See also: Pet Owners Are Sharing Weird Stories About Their Pets, And It's Hilarious

 

The Chicken That Could Speak With The Dead
The Chicken That Could Speak With The Dead

Q: Why did the chicken go to the ?séance? A: To get to the other side.

The Man In The Gorilla Suit
The Man In The Gorilla Suit

When a zoo’s gorilla dies, the zookeeper hires an actor to don ?a costume and act like an ape ?until the zoo can get another one. In the cage, the actor makes faces, swings around, and draws a huge crowd. He then crawls across a partition and atop the ?lion’s cage, infuriating the animal. But the actor stays in character—until he loses his grip and falls into the lion’s cage. Terrified, the actor shouts, “Help! Help me!” Too late. The lion pounces, opens ?its massive jaws and whispers, “Shut up! Do you want to get ?us both fired?!”

Sled Cats
Sled Cats

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. -- Jeff Valdez

See also: These Animals Are Shocked -- Shocked! -- At What You're Asking Them To Do

The Little Piggy
The Little Piggy

A pig walks into a bar, orders 15 beers and drinks them. The bartender asks, "Would you like to know where the bathroom is?"  "No," says the pig. "I'm the little piggy that goes wee-wee-wee all the way home." 

 

Bear Feet
Bear Feet

Q: What color socks do bears wear? A: They don't wear socks, they have bear feet! 

100 Hares
100 Hares

Q: What happened when 100 hares got loose on Main Street? A: The police had to comb the area.

See also: We Just Know These Selfie-Slaying Pals Are Destined To Be Stars!

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