Animal jokes are the best kinds of jokes. Check out all 12 of our favorites for some seriously funny, family-friendly animal puns!
A farmer is wondering how many sheep he has in his field, so he asks his sheepdog to count them. The dog runs into the field, counts them, and then runs back to his master. "So," says the farmers. "How many sheep were there?" "40," replies the dog. "How can there be 40?" exclaims the farmer. "I only bought 38!" "I know," says the dog. "But I rounded them up."
Sometimes when you learn the meaning of a term, it can be very disappointing. I remember when I was a kid. We were going to meet one of my mom’s friends, and she described him as a “cat person.” We got there, and I was like, wait, so you just like cats? Dude, that’s a cat-liker. A cat person’s a different story. Why does Steven never go in the pool? Oh, he’s a cat person. -- Demetri Martin
See aslo: These Stories Prove Dogs Are The Smartest Creatures On The Planet
One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted the bird so he kept on bidding, and getting outbid. He bid higher and higher until finally he won the bird! As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the auctioneer, "I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can't talk!" "Don't worry," said the auctioneer. "He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?"
I dressed my dog up as a cat for Halloween. Now he won’t come when I call him. -- Reid Faylor
See also: Pet Owners Are Sharing Weird Stories About Their Pets, And It's Hilarious
Q: Why did the chicken go to the ?séance? A: To get to the other side.
When a zoo’s gorilla dies, the zookeeper hires an actor to don ?a costume and act like an ape ?until the zoo can get another one. In the cage, the actor makes faces, swings around, and draws a huge crowd. He then crawls across a partition and atop the ?lion’s cage, infuriating the animal. But the actor stays in character—until he loses his grip and falls into the lion’s cage. Terrified, the actor shouts, “Help! Help me!” Too late. The lion pounces, opens ?its massive jaws and whispers, “Shut up! Do you want to get ?us both fired?!”
Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. -- Jeff Valdez
See also: These Animals Are Shocked -- Shocked! -- At What You're Asking Them To Do
Q: What color socks do bears wear? A: They don't wear socks, they have bear feet!
Q: What happened when 100 hares got loose on Main Street? A: The police had to comb the area.
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